What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

How long can someone with narcissistic tendencies maintain a facade of fake love before their true self is revealed? Is there a specific trigger or amount of time that causes them to reveal their true nature?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Why is the covert narcissist actively avoiding me when they see me everyday?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

What are some funny stories of people calling 911 for non-emergencies?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Do you find Anushka Sen attractive?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

How common is it for siblings to fight over their parents' inheritance money? What is the best way to handle this type of situation?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Do you think a lot of sociopaths' parents kill themselves for having brought such disgusting evil into the world? How much shame and disgust must they carry?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

What is your review of working in EY?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Do people of NYC drive around Central Park all the time? Is there any subway tunnel to cross the park quickly? Is it annoying for people and does it cause traffic?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Are today’s baseball pitchers faster than a few years ago, or is it that radar guns have improved and get the pitch speed as it is released rather than as it reaches the plate?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

TEXT:

How do I get over a long-term relationship breakup?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!